What if you put yourself first, for once?
If your immediate gut response is, "That would be nice, but I can't because..."
And those "because's" go something like...
- I'm too busy right now
- Work would never let me
- I have too many people counting on me
- I'm not making enough money to slow down
- I'm the only person who does anything around here, and if I stop everything grinds to a halt
- I would feel too guilty
- What if people think I'm selfish!?
Then in the words of the poet laureate Ice Cube...you need to check yourself before you literally wreck yourself.
All jokes aside, I've worked with way too many big hearted, kind, generous people who chronically put themselves last.
The things they want to do always end up on the backburner. They find themselves doing things they don't want to do because it feels "easier" than the fall out that may come from saying no.
They give and give, finding themselves burnt out, resentful, and exhausted...
But when they think about beginning to set healthy boundaries or start prioritizing themselves, they feel guilty.
The idea of starting to put themselves first feels impossible, and they tell me they're worried about how other people will react.
If you can relate, you're most likely one of the caregivers, the kind-hearted gentle souls, the ones who have a hard time saying no, who might find themselves in draining, unfulfilling, or enmeshed relationships.
One who plays The Hero, The Helper, or The Strong One a little too well.
One who struggles to ask for help, but is always available to lend a hand.
One for whom being called "selfish" is nearly on par with "being a burden" as The Worst Thing You Could Be.
And you know that in order for you finally start living your life in a way that's fulfilling for you, it's time for that to change.
It's time for an identity overhaul
You've probably worked on boundaries before. Maybe you've done some work around self-esteem. You've read self help books.
You've tried to do things and change your behaviors, because you recognize that always putting other people first has caused problems in your life.
But we're going to shift this on the identity level.
If you weren't The Helper, The Strong One, The Hero, or The One Who Always Comes Last...who would you be?
Who could you be?
🪄What about The Alchemist, who can transform any circumstance or situation into gold for themselves?
✨ What about The Lucky One, who seems to magnetize help, opportunities, money, and fun at every turn?
💞 Maybe The Lover, who delights in pleasure and joyfully pursues the things that feel good?
👩🎨 Perhaps The Artist, who pours their time into cultivating inspiration, creating, and sharing their creative work with friends, fans, and peers?
🌹 The Enchantress, who effortless attracts devotion, support, and adoration simply through being herself?
We all know people who seem to lead a charmed life. Who are kind and generous, but also take exquisite care of themselves, and always seem so supported. So rich.
It's not about what they're doing, as much as who they're being.
Who are you being that isn't getting you the experiences you want?
Who would you rather be?
In Radically Selfish we're not going to focus as much on things you need to do differently. We're going to focus on who you're being, and if that's the person you want to be for the next phase of your life.
It's time to fall in love with YOU.
Over the 6 weeks of Radically Selfish, we'll begin to peel back the layers of the things you do for others at the expense of yourself.
You'll slowly begin to reconnect with your genuine desires, and begin to build safety to set the boundaries required for you to be true to yourself.
You'll shed shame and guilt around having needs and wants. You'll reclaim your ability to say no to others so that you can say yes to yourself.
You'll begin to do for you, so that you can feel what it feels like to treat yourself like your first, best lover.
By doing things that are esteeming to the self, you will begin to fall in love with yourself.
You will discover how good it can feel to put yourself first, and how much more rich your relationships become when you are supported and loved while putting yourself first.
There's no course or curriculum in this program. This is a group coaching & experiential program.
You'll be tapped into a private Radically Selfish podcast feed, with short transmissions full of inspiration, concepts, and questions that will help you shift into the mindset that creating your self-first life will require.
You'll receive journal prompts to help you reshape your beliefs and get to know your authentic self on a more intimate level.
And in our live calls I'll work with you one-on-one in a small group setting to help you shed the shame, guilt, and limiting beliefs that have caused you to struggle to prioritize yourself, so that you can finally feel the love, attention, and support you give everyone else.
Join me for...
Radically Selfish
the self-first path to deep self-love, high self-worth, healthy, reciprocal relationships, and getting everything you want
June 20th - July 25th, 2024
Live Calls: Thursdays 5-7pm PST
No More "Buts."
I call this program "the self-first path to deep self love, high self worth, healthy reciprocal relationships, and getting everything you want."
And that's not hyperbole.
You can have everything you want.
If you want to be one of those people who seem to lead a charmed life, you can have that.
If you want amazing friends, to feel adored by your partner(s), to have interesting hobbies, to love your job...you can have it.
You can be that person who walks into a room and radiates "cared for."
You can be that person who is so relaxed and at ease, like you've never doubted that everything would work out for you.
And it all starts with you beginning to get clear on what you want, and ask for it...with no "buts," no apologies, no pressure to "earn it".
Your Radically Selfish Life
I invite you into a world of healthy self-priority.
A life where you easily, comfortably, confidently...
- Set healthy boundaries
- Make your self-care a priority, and finally "find time" for the meditation, healthy eating, exercising, and hobbies you've been pushing to the side
- Embody self-respect and love, no longer allowing others to take advantage of you
- Balance your needs with the needs of others, rather than prioritizing everyone else over your own needs
- Know and act on when it's time to give your time/energy/attention to others, and when it's time to step back and recharge
- Give yourself permission to enjoy things for yourself, without having to actively be helping or doing things for others
- Take exquisite care of yourself
- Prioritize your own projects, wants and desires over the demands and wants of others
As you heal guilt and shame around prioritizing yourself and setting healthy boundaries, and increase your capacity to value your own desires, you will develop compassion, esteem, love, care, worth, and respect for yourself.
The way you feel about yourself gives way to deep love and reverence, as you show yourself that you're a person worth being cared for and taken seriously.
You no longer feel lonely and abandoned, taken for granted, or like you give and give while waiting for others to give to you, because you no longer need others to give to you in order to get your needs met.
Your love, care, and generosity is so beautiful, and feels so good to receive. So many people have been the beneficiary of these things for so long. Now it's your turn.
You will realize that the love, care, and effort needed to heal wounds of abandonment, loneliness, and neglect, have been within you all along, as you begin to give your loving attention to yourself.
You deserve it.
This life is yours.
At the end of your life, I don't want you to look back with regret for all the things you wanted to do for yourself that you never let yourself prioritize.
No one is going to give you the time, effort, and energy for your dreams. You have to be RADICALLY SELFISH enough to claim it.
Your time is now.
Radically Selfish
the self-first path to deep self-love, high self-worth, healthy, reciprocal relationships, and getting everything you want
June 20th - July 25th, 2024
Live Calls: Thursdays 5-7pm PST
